Marriage and Parenting Written 1/26/14

Maybe a week ago, a friend on Facebook posted a link to an article entitled "I Look Down on Young Women with Husbands and Kids and I'm Not Sorry" written by a blogist Amy Glass (Link: http://thoughtcatalog.com/amy-glass/2014/01/i-look-down-on-young-women-with-husbands-and-kids-and-im-not-sorry/).  When I saw the blog post and read it for the first time, I was outraged.  I was married at 20, pregnant with EG at 22, had her at 23, and am now pregnant with S at 25.  I am the exact woman she claims to look down on.

As the comments popped up underneath the "share", there were numerous just as outraged as I was. However, the more I thought about it the less mad I became.  My next thought was pity.  Pity that this young woman has never experienced the love and understanding of a husband.  Pity that she has never experienced her husband seeing his daughters on an ultrasound for the first time.  Pity that she has never experienced a little one look up at her, give her a hug, and tell her "I'll miss you" as her daddy takes her to Mimi's overnight.  Pity that she has never experienced a little one wrapping her arms around her neck and hearing that little one say "I love you, mumum."  I could name over a thousand experiences that make me pity this woman.  

As I continued to ponder this blog, I had a realization that she was right.  Now, hang onto your britches.  I do not mean that I look down on anyone.  I do not condemn any woman for being able to choose to be a stay at home mom.  However, Glass says in her blog post that getting married and having children are not accomplishments.  She's right.  In my opinion, they are blessings.

So what are accomplishments?  Anyone can get married and have children.  She's aboslutely right.  Walking down the aisle is not an accomplishment. We see lots of marriages begin and end.  Sticking with that said marriage through the ups and downs and working through your problems, and loving your spouse every day for the rest of your life are accomplishments.  Birthing a child is not an accomplishment (a miracle from God, absolutely!).  We see lots of women having children.  Raising them to be independent, successful, respectful, and responsible human beings...now that is an accomplishment.

Whenever I think about my roles in life, I am a mother, wife, and teacher...in that order! The small things that come with these roles such as cooking dinner, picking up toys, writing lesson plans are not accomplishments to me.  They are a part of the roles that I chose for MY LIFE.  However, having my husband by my side after almost 10 years of being together...yep that's an accomplishment.  However, having EG speak in full sentences and name her colors and shapes...yep those are accomplishments.  However, seeing a student have a light bulb moment after struggling with a concept for weekks...yep that's an accomplishment.

So the next time Glass hitchhikes across Asia or earns a promotion, go ahead throw a party!  Those are reasons to celebrate, too.  However, if one of my friends decides they're going to walk down the aisle or are having a baby, you can bet your rear end this gal will be throwing a shower!  These are reasons to celebrate and shower that friend with love and support!  They have chosen a role in life that will be filled with blessings and accomplishments, not to mention a lot of hard work!